An Ode to Old Ass Gangsters

So, I was driving home from work, the usual 10 minute drive from the new center to downtown Detroit, and I saw a 55 year old guy wearing a huge red shirt with Ja Rule on it, so I felt it necessary to write this ode…

Oh! Old ass Gangsters with your Tims and Mink Coats,

Your clothes say its cold, but it’s your nignorance the weather supports.

Oh! Old ass Gangsters why are you wearing that hat?!?

If Baseball caps were meant to be mink, don’t you think the Eskimos would have patented that?

Oh! Old ass Gangsters you hangout with three young “Kats”,

56, 48, and 42, riding in your ‘94 Lincoln with bats

Talkin’ about how you have the hottest crew,

Well you did, back in 1932.

Back then you use to run the show

Until you crossed the Detroit River in a broken boat

Because you knew in Germany when you shoot at them,

They actually shoot back at you!

Oh! Old ass Gangsters why is everyone else “wack” but you?

You say “da bomb” who the fuck are you trying to fool?!?

You date women that have purple hair,

And the color of your hat always matches your underwear,

All your life they told you, you wouldn’t go no where,

AND THEY WERE RIGHT!

Oh! Old ass Gangsters you’re the only reason why “Belly” was ever made,

And you swear to God that you are “paid in the shade”

But everybody knows the only reason you stay paid

Is because you get unemployment from accidentally being shot in the leg

During your mandatory weekend with the army reserve.

Oh! Old ass Gangsters you make me laugh,

Doing nothing with your time and threatening to beat that ass,

Clownin around town complaining about the wind that almost knocked off your hat.

This is why I can’t wait for Suge Knight and Kwamye Kilpatrick to turn 70 and then move back.

Just another reason why I love my city!!!

--Mike G